Becoming Her

I’m all for being your authentic self. That’s the core of almost everything I write about. But authenticity doesn’t mean saying whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want. Let’s get real for a second, wisdomand self-awareness are still required.

There’s a difference between being real and being reckless.

Knowing how to read a room is a skill.
How you carry yourself matters.
Manners matter.
Tone matters.
Presence matters.

I’m not saying you need to shrink or fake it, not at all. I’m saying that when you value yourself, you move through the world with intention. You consider the weight of your words before you release them, you are mindful of how you enter a space, and how others feel in your presence. Because whether you like it or not, you teach people how to treat you.
And if you want to be treated with excellence, then carry yourself with excellence.

Here’s a quick story. I invited a friend over for a party many years ago. She asked to bring a guest, and I said sure! No problem. Well… I’ve never in my life heard someone use so much profanity. And I’m no stranger to colorful language, okay?! This was beyond. I think I heard people being referred to as “see you next Tuesday’s” more times that night than I had ever even heard the word. There were zero manners. Zero regard for the energy in the room. It wasn’t edgy, cool, or bad ass. It was chaotic and anxiety inducing.

I informed my friend afterward, I don’t think she needs to come back. Don’t be that person.
Don’t be the one who gets the un-invitation.  And listen, the unsober version of me?

 I’ve been that person.

 I’ve shown up with no filter, no boundaries, no respect. And I’ve also paid the price for it. It costs nothing to carry yourself with class. You can be real and still be refined.
You can speak truth without burning down the room. Authenticity isn’t about being loud, it’s about being true. And when you’re truly grounded in who you are, you don’t need to prove it. You just show up with presence, integrity, and self-respect.

That’s the version of you the world needs.